Disappointment is a negatively colored emotional state caused by the collapse of hopes or expectations after the manifestation of a real picture of the world. This feeling of annoyance in connection with unfulfilled dreams or something that did not live up to expectations. The higher our expectations and hopes, the greater the disappointment. Disappointment is an experience of sadness, an experience that comes with the understanding of what could be instead of what is real. People try to do everything in their power in order not to feel this feeling, in every way they try not to recognize true disappointment. This concept is one of the configurations of frustration in which the subject ceases to fight for the sake of gaining the desired.
What is disappointment?
Disappointment is an emotional state after a certain situation that will cause awareness of reality.
Disappointment in a person's life forces one to accept the truth without having gained what he wanted. Many people prefer anger over frustration. This negative emotion allows you to continue to live in the illusion of a fictional world, not to feel a grave state of sadness, not to recognize that directly elevated expectations have not been fulfilled.
Disappointment for the subject is considered one of the most difficult emotional states. In this case, the individual experiences a combination of several emotions : sadness, anger, pain, resentment. Separately, it is much easier to cope with any of these emotions than with their combination. As a result, a person tries to avoid this psychological state a hundred times more than any other negative feelings. With disappointment comes the realization of the "end", the collapse of everything conceived, a person does not receive the cherished, does not experience the desired.
Disappointment in simple words is an experience of sadness due to unfulfilled hopes or dreams, to which we ourselves pin. It must be emphasized that such definitions as “disappointment” and “charm” contain the identical root of “enchantment”. But only in fairy tales are there sorcerers who send enchantments. In reality, it is the subject himself, who hopes to get something that does not exist, himself creates the image of the expected (often overly overpriced), due to inadequate perception of the real world. When the image collapses, disappointment ensues.
The victims of disappointment are more often subjects who know exactly what they want. The person who planned everything in advance, fantasized the outcome of his own actions or actions, people around him, feelings that should arise, emotions and feelings as if he charmed himself, closed his eyes in a veil of illusions. As soon as all this collapses, there will certainly come a beloved, negative feeling, from which everyone runs away.
Going deep into the consequences of the disappointment that has come, one should pay attention to its positive features. After all, being disappointed, a person takes off his rainbow glasses, clearly sees the world, what he really is, he ceases to be deceived. The experience of ancestors says “living knowing the bitter truth is better than a sweet lie”, and experience is not one century of life. But it is worth learning to perceive life in different tones, not only like "good - bad."
The view of disappointment is subjective for each individual, everyone has the right to condemn exclusively himself. Man is a creature prone to ideal, he seeks to achieve it everywhere: in relationships, at work, in himself. Immediately in a situation where expectations are too important, frustration often comes. As a rule, disappointment in people, especially loved ones, is most painfully experienced.
Disappointment in a loved one is a key factor in breaking the relationship. At the initial stage of a relationship, love captivates people. Everything seems: bright, colorful, carefree, and here the problem begins to arise. This is the starting point for the development of our fantasies, how everything will proceed in the future: people begin to give each other "super" qualities, determine how a person should behave, how to speak, what feelings should show, imagine an ideal life. A certain standard of a loved one is being created, this prevents us from perceiving this kind of situation adequately, taking place realistically. A man in love is not able to notice any flaws, flaws in behavior, negative qualities of character, in addition, he himself tries to show only his best sides, exposing only attractive character traits. Unconsciously, partners mislead each other, as if mutually inducing "enchantment." As soon as the time comes when people begin to live together, a period of relaxation begins (living forever in tension, in order to show the best, is very difficult and destructive for himself) and the person reveals his true guise. This is the line behind which disappointment lies in the beloved.
How to survive disappointment in people
As soon as a person’s behavior goes beyond the framework of the established standard, the lie that we ourselves have created, which we ourselves have believed, is destroyed. The experience of frustration affects the deterioration of the psychological state of the subject. It is believed that it is the negative behavior of loved ones that becomes the starting point for the formation of disappointment, but much can be forgiven. The nascent factor will be the need to change opinions about this person, the destruction of hopes about him.
Disappointment is a factor causing a storm of various negative emotions, the prolonged manifestation of which leads to disruption of the normal rhythm of the subject's life. As a result, emotional instability, loss of self-confidence arises. Factors causing emotional instability, contributing to the development of frustration can be:
- spinelessness of the subject during the period of solving important life problems. A weak-willed person who is afraid to face his own fear is capable of substituting, causing irreparable damage in any unusual situation;
- expecting more from the subject than he is able to share with us. Laying responsibility for relationships on a person, considering him the ideal of our whole life;
- betrayal - the most common factor that causes disappointment. As a consequence, a depressive state, accompanied by serious personality changes in the subject;
- Insecurity in their own charm. The life position of the subject to consider himself unworthy, not able to attract the attention of a partner of the opposite sex. As a result, the emergence of dependence on the opinions of others.
The level of disappointment and its consequences is directly dependent on the scale of the betrayal itself.
How to cope with the already manifested disappointment in a person? It is worth trying to answer the question why this incident occurred, why the subject should have met your expectations. Analyzing the situation from another direction, one should take into account the personality characteristics of the subject, his behavior is completely justified for him, the person does not have the slightest idea what you fantasized and what ideal qualities were attributed to him. Views on the world can be completely different from your own values and beliefs - this may not be noticed in pairs of love.
The episodic repetition of the negative actions of your partner, perhaps, will make you understand that the essence of what happened lies much deeper, in the depth of your own experiences and emotional states. As an option, it is your behavior that contributes to the emergence of such reactions. Do not blame everyone around you, analyze your own actions and desires.
If disappointment takes you by surprise, you should never accumulate negative emotions in your own inner world. Each of them must be allowed to react, to reach the stage of completion. The accumulation of negative, emotional states can lead to inevitable psychological changes that you yourself can no longer overcome. To effectively cleanse the internal state of the excess of negative emotions, you can use several simple methods: water purification (showering, perhaps speaking all negative feelings in the water), walking in the fresh air, physical exercises, developing creative ideas that you put off; purchase of a pet.
Do not dwell on what happened. Make sure that what happened was inevitable and this is not the end of your existence, after that you can live, while having precious psychological experience that allows you to avoid further illusory influence. Focus on your goals, do not plan the result, but as much as possible engage yourself in work to achieve the goals.
Stop peering at others. Strive for personal growth and self-improvement , do not copy the behavior of others who, in your opinion, are successful or impeccable. Wean yourself to idealize everything that appears on your path, direct your worldview in a different direction. Disappointment helped you to remove the veil, so learn to see the world with all its shortcomings, negative manifestations. Be an example to others, be the person that nature has created you with all the advantages and imperfections.
Fold away all existing patterns, without exception, everyone is given the opportunity to react differently to surrounding stimuli, each with its own individual view of the world. Do not be afraid to enter into a new love relationship - the frustration received in the past will serve you as an experience in the present.
Disappointment in a person’s life is a natural emotional state, which should not be shy, and even more afraid. It should be remembered that time is beyond the control of man; it is already impossible to change the situation of disappointment. This is not a sentence. The ability to control your feelings, dreams and hopes, rationally use them in relation to the desired subject, will allow you to make fewer fatal errors, free your mind from excessive illusions.