Mental pain is emotional suffering, unpleasant and painful in its sensations for a person. Mental pain is also referred to as mental body pain and is considered a loss of survival potential. Often it is much more dangerous than bodily diseases, because it causes disturbances in the work of all internal organs and provokes malfunctions throughout the body.
How to deal with heartache?
Emotional suffering develops when an individual is worried about a life event or is very worried about a loved one. Mental pain is often inherent in a person when his personal ideas do not coincide with what is happening in reality. This is because significant experiences leading to depression are due to patterns formed in the human brain, and the reality is not what the individual expects. All these frustrations lead to emotional distress.
Mental pain by a person can be experienced both explicitly and secretly when a person suffers, but does not admit to himself in this.
How to deal with heartache? A person copes with heartache in several ways. In one case, mental pain moves from a conscious sensation to a subconscious and the individual mistakenly believes that he no longer suffers. In fact, what happens is that a person simply avoids the pain, and transfers it to the subconscious.
If an individual is inclined to demonstrate his actions and feelings, then this means that he gives vent to his emotional pain. A person in such cases begins to consult with friends and acquaintances, seeks salvation in eliminating the root of the problem.
For example, if a relationship with parents causes mental pain, then a person is looking for all possible ways to find a common language with them.
If a person chose a method of avoidance, then this method is expressed in not recognizing the problem, often the individual says that he has everything wonderful and does not even recognize himself in his personal experiences. In this case, mental pain persists, turning into an implicit, subconscious form. It is very difficult to cope with this condition, it is painful for a person, much more emotional than open confession, as well as speaking the problem out loud.
How to get rid of heartache
It is very difficult to get rid of hidden pain, it is characterized by a protracted (for years!) Course. At the same time, a person's character and relationships with others change. A person with heartache begins to attract negative people, gradually changing the level of acquaintances, or completely abandons them, forever excluding communication with people.
Often emotional suffering does not allow an individual to create, work, it torments him, and a person often does not understand what is happening to him. Certain situations can remind a person of those moments that caused pain many years ago in his soul. This is due to the fact that emotions were driven into the subconscious many years ago, so a person cries and worries, not fully understanding what is happening to him, for example, after watching an emotional scene from a movie. In those cases when it is not possible to cope with mental pain on your own, the help of a specialist or a close person who is ready to listen to you is needed.
Heartache after breaking up
Psychological reactions to a breakdown with a loved one have much in common with a reaction to physical loss, namely, the death of a loved one. Mental pain after parting with a loved one can drag on for many months and years. During this period, a person is keenly worried. Experiences include the stages of indignation, denial, and pain.
Initially, a stage of denial arises, which manifests itself in a person’s subconscious refusal to objectively treat the gap and be aware of the end of the relationship.
The mental pain after parting is aggravated by the understanding that there is no longer a loved one, and will never be there again. At that moment, when a person realizes and accepts reality, he will cease to suffer. This understanding does not come overnight. The duration of this period depends on the continuation of contacts with the former lover. To easier and faster to pass this stage of mental suffering, psychologists advise to abandon all contacts, as well as get rid of all objects reminiscent of past relationships.
The period of denial is replaced by a period of hatred and resentment, for which the former lover is accused of all sins and the offended person seeks revenge, especially if the reason for the breakup was treason.
Psychologically, this is understandable: blaming another person is much easier than admitting part of your guilt to yourself in such a situation. This stage is marked by the emergence of an emotional block: there is a loop on negative experiences, which significantly prolongs the period of psychological recovery. At the next stage of a life crisis, experiences of lost time in relationships that were in vain develop. Such experiences are accompanied by fear of loneliness, as well as the uncertainty of the future, the fear that it will not be possible to build new relationships.
Most psychologists are inclined to believe that tears, suffering, and meditation alone are an indispensable as well as a necessary part in overcoming this life crisis. There is nothing wrong with the fact that you want to cry. Allow yourself to suffer and cry - this will bring relief and lead to recovery.
If, nevertheless, a decision was made to break up, then you should not restore lost relationships, and for this reason give yourself up to sad memories, make calls, and also meet. This will only slow down and make it harder to overcome emotional suffering.
Women often need more time than men in order to forget about their former partner, because for women, love for a man is the most important part of life. For men, the priority in life is often work, as well as career. In addition, it is usually easier for men to find a new partner.
Psychologists advise, left alone, to engage in personal development . If, however, within two years, the mental pain after separation is disturbing, then it is necessary to consult a psychologist or psychotherapist who will help in solving this problem.
Edwin Schneidman, an American psychologist, gave the following unique definition of heartache. She does not look like physical or bodily pain. Mental pain manifests itself in experiences that the grieving person often causes.
Mental pain, filled with suffering, is an expression of the loss of the meaning of life. She is marked by torment, longing, confusion. This condition is caused by loneliness, grief, guilt, humiliation, shame, fear of inevitability - aging, death, physical illness.
Removing the cause of heartache helps eliminate the cause of suffering. If the cause of emotional suffering is the negative behavior of a person regarding you, then in this case it is necessary to eliminate these causes, and not to quench your emotions about this person. For example, if you have any troubles with your boss that provoked a heartache, you should work on relations with him, and not on your emotions and how you feel about it. Find a common language or quit.
If emotional suffering is caused by an incorrigible situation (illness or death), then you should work on the perception of reality and your emotions.
Mental pain lasts from six months to a year with the loss of a loved one. Only after this period of time do psychologists advise building a new relationship in order not to repeat the old mistakes.
How to relieve heartache? You must admit to yourself that an unpleasant situation has already occurred. This can alleviate your condition.
Second, survive the period of pain and recover. Next, we are building a new future, but without these circumstances or this person. For example, without a beloved job or a loved one. Mentally build everything in detail as you live on. Often, the real world becomes in a person what he himself sees in his imagination.
Often, severe mental pain hides under other masks and is confused with anger, disappointment, resentment.
How to survive severe heartache? Find people who are worse off than you. Take care of them. This way you switch from your problem.
Master the system of proper breathing: with a long breath and short exhale. Proper breathing can help your body cells recover quickly, strengthen the nervous system.
Every day, say something pleasant to people, positive emotions will also be transmitted to you.
Observe the regimen of the day, get enough sleep, this will help restore nerve cells.
Distract from the experiences of dancing, jogging, walking, push-ups, exercise. Sign up for a massage.
Avoid the return of intense mental suffering. Scientists are inclined to believe that a person is depressed for a quarter of an hour, and the rest of the time he creates mental suffering for himself, prolonging and aggravating them. Therefore, the ability to not return mental pain again, which is facilitated by situations from the past that provoked experiences, is of great importance.